2026-04-08
Don't Phone your - bring the phucking... don't phest!
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Holy Toledo everyone!
We've got 99 contacts and your dog ain't one! Why don't we have more dogs on this distro? Or cats? I'll tell you! It's because dogs and cats can't read. If you DO have a dog or cat that can read, though, sign them up to be our 100th recipient of this email thing!We hope you all survived that tablespoon of winter we just had! All of us here at NotPhone Incorporated do love us a giant lazy snowflake wafting down from the stratosphere (actualy troposphere) but damn! It's April! April... SHOWERS! April showers are supposed to bring May Flowers! What the hell do April Snowflakes bring? That's right! They bring another weekly iteration of Don't Bring Your Phucking Phone Phest! Did y'all get a load of all that April tomfoolery from last week's email? We are not moving to Zoom conferences for the Phest, and we apologize to the number of you who sent us enthusiastic emails telling us how excited you were for that change.Anyway, here are some logistical details about the next Phest!==============================Date: Thursday, April 09, 2026Location: Pizza VillaTime: 5pm to 8PM==============================Now that the nitty gritty details are all out of the way, I wanted to spread some juicy Phest related gossip. I heard that someone said they saw someone talking about the idea of someone reviewing a design for a Don't Bring Your Phucking Phone Phest *STICKER*. This was particularly exciting for me because I have a glass stovetop that really needs some flair. Anyway, who knows if that'll pan out (or when), but you (didn't) hear it here first!
We hope y'all have a special day today! Whatever you get up to, consider not bringing your phucking phone!
We've got 99 contacts and your dog ain't one! Why don't we have more dogs on this distro? Or cats? I'll tell you! It's because dogs and cats can't read. If you DO have a dog or cat that can read, though, sign them up to be our 100th recipient of this email thing!We hope you all survived that tablespoon of winter we just had! All of us here at NotPhone Incorporated do love us a giant lazy snowflake wafting down from the stratosphere (actualy troposphere) but damn! It's April! April... SHOWERS! April showers are supposed to bring May Flowers! What the hell do April Snowflakes bring? That's right! They bring another weekly iteration of Don't Bring Your Phucking Phone Phest! Did y'all get a load of all that April tomfoolery from last week's email? We are not moving to Zoom conferences for the Phest, and we apologize to the number of you who sent us enthusiastic emails telling us how excited you were for that change.Anyway, here are some logistical details about the next Phest!==============================Date: Thursday, April 09, 2026Location: Pizza VillaTime: 5pm to 8PM==============================Now that the nitty gritty details are all out of the way, I wanted to spread some juicy Phest related gossip. I heard that someone said they saw someone talking about the idea of someone reviewing a design for a Don't Bring Your Phucking Phone Phest *STICKER*. This was particularly exciting for me because I have a glass stovetop that really needs some flair. Anyway, who knows if that'll pan out (or when), but you (didn't) hear it here first!
We hope y'all have a special day today! Whatever you get up to, consider not bringing your phucking phone!
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